Wacky Prose Poem

Because when I started this page,
I didn't have any pictures of you to scan,
and because your movie credits were documented on so many other pages,
I just wrote this verse instead.

Oh Pamelyn Ferdin, I had such a crush on you when I was a kid,
I watched "Curiosity Shop" religiously,
and I knew it was your voice doing "Lucy" on the Peanuts cartoons,
and all these years I never forgot your name,
and wondered where you went.

And although I always thought Helen Hunt was cute, too,
she doesn't have quite enough spunk or freckles,
maybe I'm sad yet a little happy,
because now everyone else thinks she's cute, too,
and that she is no longer quite so little-known, like you.

But still I wish you could have your own hit TV show,
perhaps with the guy from "Dream On,"
who also deserves more fame than he got,
but only if you wanted to be that famous.

And now I'll repeat your name a few times
so the search engines will someday lead you here
when you look for your name on the Web,
and then maybe you'll call me on the phone
or send me a signed recent photo for my wall,
that I can scan for this page.

Pamelyn Ferdin was once on Star Trek,
but I only ever saw it in reruns because
it was on too late
and my parents never watched things like that.

Pamelyn Ferdin was once in a movie with Clint Eastwood,
although at the time I didn't know who he was,
I knew her. And they don't have the Mephisto Waltz
or the Toolbox Murders at my local video rental store.

And someday when Geraldo or Oprah or Carnie
has a show about stars and their Web-fans,
and they remember Pamelyn Ferdin
because you appear in Star Trek the Movie Part Eight,
I hope you'll ask me to be on the show with you.
I hope they'll take us, even though
I don't have anything shocking to say about you.

And once on CompuServe, I heard from a guy
who said he saw you in the cafeteria at a California college,
and when he pointed you out to his friends, they didn't know who you were.

And some other guy said that someone on Prodigy
was looking for you, too, because his wife was your childhood friend.

And I hear that Pamelyn Ferdin
may still be doing voice work or commercials,
I don't think I've heard or seen you lately,
so your agent isn't doing much for you
that I can see.

And another Web page mentioned
that you're making appearances for animal rights,
and the Village Voice had a recent
that said you were the ex-director of public relations
for the Center for Animal Care and Control (CACC) in New York City,
although I think the guy at Friends Of Animals
must've thought I was a little nuts
to want to get a copy of their ad
that had your picture in it so I could put it here.

Don't worry, Pamelyn Ferdin,
I am happily married with two kids,
and I can supply references to my character,
and am far away in Wisconsin,
and have no desire to stalk you or otherwise become obsessed.
I just want to make your first Web page.

Judging from the number of other thirty-something guys
who've found this page because they've always wondered about you, too,
maybe we should re-start your fan club on the Web. OK?
They're coming out of the woodwork,
telling me they always felt the same way about you.
Fandom is weird. I've never really been a "fan" like this before.

If you want, send me e-mail. Tell me about your memories of Pam.

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